![]() "A lot of my clients are casually dating until someone presents themselves as a viable long-term partner, so sometimes it's a stopgap between relationships." "There are a lot of reasons people date casually, ranging from wanting to gain more interpersonal experience with people to whom you're attracted, to avoiding the emotional attachment that comes with deeper levels of commitment, to just wanting to have fun," sex and dating coach Myisha Battle, M.S., recently told mbg. Of course, it's also possible that he doesn't like you in particular but rather just likes having access to sex, flirting, and intimacy, which your connection might provide him. ![]() He might just like spending time with you, think you're really fun and interesting, and enjoy your connection exactly as it is right now. Just because a person isn't interested in a serious relationship with you doesn't mean they don't genuinely like you. It's OK to not want these things, but if he's avoiding telling you how he feels about all this and keeping you in the dark, take that as a red flag. You two should still be able to get on the same page about whether you're romantically and sexually exclusive, what the expectations you both have for each other are, whether you want your current relationship to be long term, and whether you're interested in eventually living together, getting married, and those sorts of things. In other words, saying you "don't do labels" cannot be a stand-in for having a conversation about what you both expect from each other. So if you feel you're at a place where you cannot (or don't want) to date one person exclusively, that should be communicated to your partner so that can make a decision about whether that works for them." "However, one should understand that you maintain full autonomy of yourself in every relationship you're in, and you are the one who is responsible for communicating what you need, what you want, and what you don't want. "Some people may choose not to label their relationship because they're afraid of being tied down too quickly or in a place where they feel trapped," relationship therapist Shena Tubbs, MMFT, LPC, CSAT-C, once told mbg. Some people do prefer relationships without labels, but importantly, a relationship without labels is still a relationship and still requires clarity around expectations. People often choose to be vague about their intentions when they think the other person won't like what they hear. ![]() If they aren't willing to say one way or the other whether they're open to a long-term commitment with you, it's often a sign that it's not something they're that interested in at the moment. A person who wants to date you seriously will not hesitate to tell you once you've directly asked them about it. Usually if someone is open to a serious relationship, they'll be pretty upfront about that when asked about it. Those things may be true for him, but the issue is when these things are said without giving any indication about whether a committed relationship could ever truly be on the table. He might make excuses such as saying he "likes taking things slow" or "has a lot going on right now," or he may say he "just wants to see where things go" with the two of you. Even when you do try to talk about what's going on between the two of you, he avoids offering any specifics about what he wants.
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